Often, leaders have a tough time stepping away, having a life, and just breathing. Work/life balance—what is that? End of year deadlines, increased demand for services to get in before they must meet a new deductible, staffing (transitions, new hires, retirements) or lack thereof, increased PTO requests that you want to fulfill but still need to meet the patients’ needs, day to day operations. Does this sound familiar?

But that is only your work—let’s not forget your life: holiday planning, gifts, family gatherings, travel that requires you to take off, bills, your family’s heath, your own health, and everyone else’s needs and wants. More likely than not, because you are in healthcare, your work and life also prioritize everyone else’s needs and wants before your own.  

I was recently and formally named caregiver for my 18-year-old daughter. It’s generally known that caregivers will bear many burdens, emotionally and physically, get burnt out, and often sacrifice their social life for others. Until you’ve been a caregiver yourself, it’s hard to really know what this journey looks like. But as leaders in healthcare, some of these elements will resonate with you. I would argue that our unofficial title as leader has changed to (or has always been) caregiver. We all fight for the love of what we do, our staff, our department, our patients, our families, and everything else we encounter.

We have seen the uptick of well-being in society and work, but it’s often not taken seriously. Maybe we see it as a concept too selfish for us to relate to. What if we thought about this differently?

If we are to identify ourselves as caregivers—a new role—we must be trained accordingly. Here is your unofficial orientation, or SHAPE, for this new title:

1. Support: You are not alone. Surround yourself with people that know exactly what you are going through.
2. Help: Work/life balance requires the ability to ask for help. This requires development of trust and delegation. Initial effort of teaching others may take a bit, but the long-term effects are invaluable. The more you delegate, the more you are also helping build a succession plan.
3. Activity: Disconnect for small moments. Simply pause between tasks. Take a deep breath in and out, take a step outside, read a couple pages from a book you enjoy, actively write down something good that has happened. Any small activity helps.
4. Prioritize Yourself: As the saying goes, “Put your oxygen mask on first before you help others.” You will see this in any caregiver guide, professional development resource, and well-being resource. You must breathe to survive; you must survive to help others breathe.
5. Exit: Find that exit sign. Leave one world and fully immerse yourself in another, otherwise it collides together and results in an 18-hour day of going through the motions with no time living life or even sleep. I know what you are going to say: “But I want to be there for the staff.” Set healthy boundaries: “I am here for you in an emergency, if you are personally in need. For non-urgent business issues, please email so I can thoroughly respond to you as quickly as possible when I have all my resources with me.” It is all in the delivery. We open our lives to our employees more and more with communication tools such as text. And be sure to follow your own rule—do not text work questions outside of work hours.

I know this is not earth-shattering news. I know we have heard it before. But what is different about this time is you have already taken the first two steps in surviving and finding time to breathe again.

1. AHRA is your support system: We have over 5,000 individuals to surround you and, yes, we know exactly what you are going through. Networking and connections through AHRA My Way, conferences, and mentorship programs are great places to start. We have your back.
2. You have just asked for help: You read this article, and you are a member of AHRA. If you are not a member, then let that be your first step. Resources include the documents library and forums to decrease your time at work recreating the wheel. Aspiring leader programs help teach your new leaders or prospects to start learning the skills needed to delegate opportunities.

In the toughest moments, this saying has helped me to keep going: “Breathe. You’re going to be okay. Breathe and remember that you’ve been in this place before. You’ve been this uncomfortable and anxious and scared, and you’ve survived. I know it feels unbearable right now, but keep breathing, again and again. This will pass. I promise it will pass.” —Daniell Koepke.